Lost little Lillian
by TheDeathOfAnother
Summary: Lillian Grey has had enough. Her father thinks she's Crazy and she doesn't want help anymore. One shot. WARNING: Suicide is involved.


I smile at my therapist of 3 years. John Flynn, he smirks softly. He's British with dark hair and he's always smartly dressed in suits and ties. He gestures for me to sit down. I sit gracefully and he shuts the door.

"Your father demanded an emergency session" He murmurs carefully.

I nod. "He thinks I'm crazy"

"Why is that?" he asks softly.

I shrug. "Dad's already told you"

He nods "Yes, but I'd like your side of the story"

"Story- that's such a judgemental word" I sigh.

John frowns "I wasn't trying to be judgemental, I am sorry if I offended you"

I shake my head "Please it takes more than a judgemental word to offend me, I was simply making an observation"

He nods softly. "Why does your father think your for use of your word 'crazy'" he puts air quotes around crazy.

"He thinks I have a mental disability, he told me.. Yet whenever Ted or Phee get something wrong-"I realize I sound like a jealous school girl and stop shaking my head.

"Why did you stop?"

"I was under the impression I was whining" I sigh.

"Lillian, you never whine." John smiles. "You are very honest"

I stand abruptly. "I'm wasting your time and quite frankly my father's money. I don't want to be helped so therefore I can't be helped"

He stands too. "Your father would rather I spoke to you, than you becoming-"

"Worse than I am? I know that but to be honest. I see no point in continuing a life that's not for me" I shrug. "Most girls would dive at the chance to be me and I feel like a spoilt brat saying I hate it. But I do. Honestly I'd rather be dead" I sigh as John watches me in alarm.

"Won't you sit for a few more minutes?"

I sigh and slump back down into the sofa.

"Your last comment 'I'd rather be dead' do you feel like that regularly?"

I nod. "Yes. I have for a couple of months"

He nods in thought. "Have you ever attempted-"

I tug up my sleeves and reveal my wrist to him, he doesn't react just watches impassively. I roll up my trouser leg and reveal all of my scars. "Yes, multiple times" I recover them and he nods softly.

"Do you know why?"

"Why I self-harm or why I attempt suicide?"

"Both"

"I self -harm because it's a distraction from the emotional pain, it brings me a calm that I can't find any other way as for attempting to kill myself. I figure if I'm not here then Dad and Mom can get back to it being them and their two perfect children. Not them and their perfect two children and the one who's a weirdo"

He blinks for a moment. "Why do you say their perfect two children?"

"They always attend Ted and Phee's shows. Yet one time I ask them to show up to one of-"I stop "I'm whining again" I sigh and shake my head. "It doesn't even matter anymore. It would be selfish to end my life. Yet I want to be selfish sometimes. Too see if anyone would notice"

John frowns as realization dawns. "You want to feel accepted?"

I shake my head "I don't really care what people think of me. I just wish people wouldn't assume I'm like them- My mother and Father- I'm not like them. I hate business, that's all they ever talk about. I. Really. Don't. Care" I bite out. I stand. "Sorry" I mutter and I leave. I know he'll ring my father, I know he'll tell my grandmother but for once in my life I really couldn't give a shit.

JOHN FLYNN

Lillian Grey is the youngest of Christian Greys family at only 17. She has Ana's dark hair and Christian's grey eyes. She's so young and yet here she is telling me she wants to end her life. That she wants to be selfish for once. She's angry. I got that from her posture. I dial Christian quickly fearing for her safety.

"Grey" he snaps as usual.

"Christian it's John. I've just had a very disturbing conversation with Lillian"

"Yes, I know she's not normal" he sighs.

"She is normal. She needs help. She's suicidal"

"Where is she?" he sighs.

"Christian what was it you once told me, 'my children are my universe, I will believe them no matter how hard It is' well Lillian needs that right now"

"Ok"

I notice my next appointment arrive and he's looking bored. "Christian, I think you should get Grace involved"

He sighs "Thanks John" he hangs up.

"come on in" I murmur, Sally is a middle aged woman who is certain that her husband is cheating on her.

LILLIAN

I sit on the outside of the rail. My legs hanging over the edge of the bridge. People are staring except one young boy who has blue eyes and blonde hair. He takes a hesitant step towards me.

He holds out his hand. "You wanna take my hand?"

I shake my head standing. He stands stock still.

"Don't do it."

"Why? Give me a reason. Nothing is worth it anymore"

He nods "It feels like that but it's not true. You have a family?"

I nod warily.

"You got a name?"

"Lilly"

"Well Lilly I'm Oliver" he pauses. "I think your upset and that you can't keep a stable though pattern I'm right aren't I?"

Reporters have gathered now. I turn back away from him and look out to the water. "No you aren't"

"I am. I was standing here just two weeks ago. It's not worth it. I promise…" he trails off.

"Who are you to make me promises?" I whisper. "Who is anyone to make promises to me? My own family can't even keep them" I'm crying now. I shake my head as he reaches out to me. I blink in surprise.

"I'm here for you" he looks straight into my eyes as he strongly tells me the 4 words I've needed to hear for the last 3 years.

"You're too late" I fall backwards and I hear my mother's scream as I fall towards the water. I close my eyes and hope that I don't resurface, I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take it. I'm not a Grey…


End file.
